A little bit of crazy
by ollybear
Summary: You find Gabriel about to leave in the middle of the night and are determined to go with him.


_hey, this is my first story im posting on here, I originally posed it on tumblr but took it down. I hope you like it_

_..._

"You know you're supposed to roll your clothes rather then fold them, it'll save space" You stated leaning on the doorframe.You learned that from sam on one of your hunts together. Gabriel froze under your gaze, but only for a moment. He didn't expect you to be up at this hour, it was the whole point of him getting up this early.

"Yeah well if I ever own more than 10 shirts again i'll make sure to try that" Gabriel said as he continued to fold his clothes and place then in the large suitcase sitting in the center of his bed. There was an edge to his voice that caused you to wince slightly. You pushed yourself up off the wall and walk over stopping a few feet away from him.

"Gabriel you know you're being crazy?" the question was intended to be rhetorical but you found yourself genuinely curious of what his answer might be.

"maybe so but ,ya know, what's life without a lil bit of crazy" with that a heavy silence filled the room is Gabriel continued packing without missing a beat.

"There is no convincing you to stay?" you half stated, half asked and his golden orbs met your own eyes.

"'Fraid not buttercup, but hey look on the bright side you can have my old room. All I ask is you do something fun with it in my honor. Treat yourself; add a chocolate fountain or something else of equal delight" he said gesturing to the room around him with the dramatic flare if his hands.

You stood for a moment before striding over to the drawer closest to you and began pulling out an assortment of clothes. You placed them on the bed and began sorting , folding, and gently placing them in the bag. Gabriel stopped to ask what you were doing but instead settled on giving you a questioning look. Of all the reactions he imagined you having, this was not one of them.

"Packing will go faster if we work together, we'll do my bags next" you stated sternly

Gabriel blinked once, twice and was about to protest when he found the corners of his mouth tugging up into a soft smile. The kicker was it was genuine. A comforting warmth spread through his chest sparked by adoration at the sight of you with that defiant stand. He remembered it well, you had always been that way, even when he was still an archangel. It was almost laughable then and still was now even though the initial irony was gone. The weight of reality quickly repositions itself upon the shoulders as he remembered the implications of your previous statement.

"You don't know what you'd be signing up for shortcakes, it's all rides from questionable truck drivers and sleazy hoteles for me. You've got a life here," he responded with what you hoped was a light hearted joke. You had more than a few less the pure thoughts about the ex-tricktster and your nose scrunched up in disgust imaging what a sleazy truck driver would want from him.

On a more serious note what he was proposing was beyond anything you or the Winchester's had done in the department of stupid. It wasn't that you thought he could take care of himself. It was he was just getting used to being human and the ta he was setting out to do was two steps short of impossible.

"I know exactly what I want, so stop being stupid and let me come with you"

It was a fantasy of gabriel's; you and him running off together, being more than you were. Yet he had remind himself that it was indeed just a fantasy. He shook his head, better judgement soon regained control over him. He was not about to burn though you like the Winchesters did to so many of their other friends. You were safe here, much safer than you could ever be with him.

"Tell you what, I'll send postcards. Although you might want to pick out another address. I don't think UPS delivers to world war two bomb shelters. Besides it's probably best they don't, whatever poor soul had to deliver mail here would probably end up in that sex dungeon of yours."

You didn't say anything at all in fact you weren't sure you could. He didn't want you. You never expected him to say no. Since he got back the pair of you had been nearly inseparable. You helped him recover, showed him the in and outs of humanity and he made you really laugh; something you hadn't done in years.

Normally by now you would have rolled your eyes or laughed at his joke. Your silence made you hard to read so he took the moment to take in your features. You had a look perpetual confusion and hurt that put Sam Winchester's puppy dog face to shame. He hated to see you upset, in fact, it broke his heart.

"Come on cupcake, turn that frown upside down. This isn't goodbye, not by a long shot. You couldn't get rid of me that easily" he joked.

Gabriel stood there for a moment gauging your reaction but you just stood there. His nerves began to pick at him and he shifted from one foot to the other before the need to move became overwhelming. He walked around his room giving it a once over for anything he might have forgotten. He picked up a few candy wrappers he left out before quickly discarding them over his shoulder. You watched it hit the ground and bounced twice before coming to a stop. You knew he was waiting for you to look up at him, but at the moment there was nothing more interesting than that one little candy wrapper. Eventually he gently lifted your chin bringing your gaze up to meet his.

"Come on sweet cheeks don't leave me hanging like that" he said hoping you would come around but your thoughts were stuck replaying your entire conversation up to this point and realization dawned upon you.

He never said no.

You reached out to grab his hand taking a daring step closer. The distance between you shrunk significantly and you bite your lip in anticipation. Your stomach was twisting into knots and you can feel your heart hammering in your chest as if it were trying to escape.

"Let me come with you" you plead once again barely above a whisper.

"The sun's going to be coming up soon. I gotta split before thing one and thing two notice that I'm gone" Gabriel muttered, trying to focus on stepping away, but instead all that seemed to be on his mind was the way your hand came up to his shoulders sending a shiver down his spine. He nearly died at the feeling your nails dragging lightly along his skin shooting goosebumps down his arms. In that moment he could have sworn he never left heaven. His eyes found their way down to your soft slightly parted lips and became stuck there. He wanted nothing more than to feel them on his own.

"I won't take long " you whispered before finally closing the remaining gap between you. You leaned forward pushing yourself on your tiptoes to gently locking lips with him. Sparks flew as the romantic tension between you two finally broke. You could feel each of his muscles tighten beneath your hands as you dragged them up and down his arms and to his shoulders again. His hands came to your waist, hovering there but not daring to touch you. Gabriel wanted more then anything to tell you no. To let you come with him would be selfish. He could only imagine what would happen if one of the many people he managed to piss off got a hold of you. Lucifer on one hand had a habit of breaking his favorite 'toys'. There was a reason you didn't see dinosaurs roaming the earth among the land of living. Gabriel had taken a special liking to them. What was better than giant lizards with little arms? Of course when he and Lucifer had gotten into an argument. Lucifer went and nuked them.

And Asmodeus... Gabriel broke his train of thought, not wanting to dive back into those memories. Though he couldn't help running his tongue over where the stitches once held his mouth closed. The atrocities he suffered alone made his stomach churn. Even when he was left alone he could not Escape his torture. The crippling silence was deafening. Never in his life has he had to live with that much quiet. Between angel radio and day to day contact with people, he always had someone to talk to. Asmodeus had quite literally broken him. The image of you in the same condition flashed in his mind and panic flared to life. Gabriel pulled away just enough to break in the kiss, letting his forehead rest against yours.

He let out a shaky breath trying to regain what little self control he had left. Father, he adored you. More than anything he wanted to tell you to pack your bags and have you sneak off with him in the middle of the night. In the past he would have without a second thought. But things were different now, he was different now. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to actually tell you no. Before all this, when the apocalypse was still happening he on more than one occasion had popped in to help on a hunt or snapped his fingers and brought you whatever you desired, simply because you asked. He would admit it but you had him wrapped around your finger.

"Y/N" it name sounded strained as he struggled to sift through his conflicting emotions.

You knew what he was going to say and the thought alone killed you. There was no way in hell your were letting him get away. Not tonight, not like this.

"No" you stated abruptly cutting him off before he could say anymore. His brows furrowed together obviously not expecting the outburst from you.

For a moment your mind blanked on what to say. The wrong thing and he would be out of your life again. You already lost him once, you'd be damned before you let him get away again. You remembered his death like it was yesterday. You could still seeing him lying dead with the imprints of wings burnt into the ground behind him. The haunting image was seared into your mind along with the overwhelming regret of never admitting your feeling for him at the time. Your knuckles whitened as you gripped his jacket tethering him to you.

"You can't go out there on your own." you stammered

Gabriel let out a loud sigh obviously exapostred "Where I'm going, I won't let you follow.. " he vowed and you met his gaze his glassy orbs; tears threatened to fall. He looked away and you brought a hand to his cheek hoping to reassuring him this truly was what you wanted

" It not your choice to make, id rather die out there with you tomorrow, then live the next hundred safely here cuz waiting around hoping your ok, that's not living. I can't do it again, I can't lose you again"

Gabriel paused taking in the meaning behind each of your words.

When he didn't respond you began to shift from foot to foot your nerves plucking away with each passing moment. What if you came on to strong and just blew it. You shouldn't have said anything, maybe it wasn't too late to…

Your thoughts were cut off abruptly when Gabriel crashed his lips into yours. You gasped at the initial contact and he took the opportunity slip his tongue past your lips. This kiss much more passionate than the last and it spoke volumes beyond words.

…

Gabriel pulled himself out of bed, careful not to disturb you from your sleep. You stirred moving around and mumbling incoherently. His eyes drawn to the genital rise and fall of your chest. The repetitive motion reassuring him that you were indeed still asleep. Your features were soft and relaxed free from grief. Too often you features were weighed down with sorrow. Your life had not been easy, you spent far too much time morning loved ones and dealing with the world's problems. He felt his chest tighten at the realization that he would once again be the cause of your grief.

He knew that by leaving he was going to break your heart. In fact he despised himself for it. The sting of lost loved ones still wore heavy weight on his and heart and he could not afford to lose you as well. He carefully walked around picking up his clothes that he had so quickly discarded of only hours before. He searched around for his shirt eventually giving up and getting another one from his bag when he realized it must have been tangled somewhere in the sheets. In these last moments with you the questions he had previously repossessed forced their way into his consciousness.

How would you react to his disappearance?

He hoped that after he retrieved his grace and came back you would welcome him with open arms. Although he was beginning to see that was nothing more than a fantasy. To leave you with no explanation after everything that just happen would obliterate any future relationship he could hope to have with you. He pondered the possibility of just staying here with you but quickly discarded it. He needed his grace back, a big part of who he was was ripped from his body. How Castiel survive so long without his own would forever baffle him.He needed to leave. He almost laughed in anger, why did he always have to leave? He couldn't just go without an explanation, he at the very least owed you that.He didn't really know how long it took him but one thing was certain he poured his heart into that letter. It was possibly the most honest thing he has ever written in his life. He read over at least three times and then once again. It had to be perfect, a lot was riding on this one little letter. Once he decided it was finished he placed it on the nights making sure not to fold it knowing that they ink took a while to dry. He then took the opportunity to look at you one last time. You were so beautiful, his heart became swollen at the sight at you. He tried to memorized each of the little details of your face. Everything from the exact shape of your lips to that one scar you got as a kid. Without realizing it he leaned down and placed a delicate kiss to the side of your head. He whispered in your ear promises of ceaseless love and of eventail return.

….

When you woke up you were consumed with hazy bliss. The event of last night still fresh in your mind. You rolled over onto your back expecting to feel Gabriel beside you, only the spot beside you empty. For a brief moment panic arose in your chest. It quickly subsided when you remembered that Gabriel often got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom or to get water. Your suspicions were confirmed when you saw the bathroom light that connected to his room on. You took notice of the time, it was 4:30 now and Sam and Dean would be up soon. You smiled a little and rolled on to your side and called out to him

" Come back to bed, were going to have to hurry if want to fit in another quicky before we leave"

You pause for a moment waiting for him to respond. A minute passed and you began to worry. Maybe he didn't hear you?

"gabriel?"

Still nothing.

You rolled out of bed finding his shirt in the in the sheets and throwing it on before slowly walking to the bathroom, afraid of what you might find. You gently knocked on the door before hesitantly pushing it open.

It was empty.

. You turned around giving the room a once over. His bags were gone, his clothes. Everything was gone, It was gone. He was gone. You looked around the room once more just to reconfirm when your eyes found a note sitting on the nightstand. You scrambled over tripping on your own feet in the process. You gripped the nightstand fall to your knees. It did little to stop you as you snatched the note off the nightstand. Your name was carefully written on the ground in cursive. The fount on the inside matched perfectly making you question if was indeed human. You didn't even get through the first line before The despair quickly turned to anger. The realization that he really did leave and there was nothing you could do to change that.

He was gone

You took a deep breath in and out and wiped the wetness off your face with the back of your hand. You rolled the piece of paper in your hand several times. You had to be the punch line to one big cosmic joke, cursed to be alone forever. You laughed bitterly before letting your head back against the night stand. You winced gripping your head, not expecting it to hurt half as much as it did. The stingingradataed and you brought your hand to check for blood. All you found was the black ink from the note smeared all over your hand.

Suddenly realization dawned upon you. The ink was wet, you still had time to catch him.

You didn't even bother finding shoes just throwing you underwear to go with the shirt before your feet carried you through the bunker. You feet slapped long the cold metal floor as you sprinted through the library, up the winding stairs and to the front door. You ran out heading for the end of the driveway praying you could cut him off before it was too late. It was still almost black outside the horizon only starting to lighten with peaks of a rising sun. You could see your breath on the cold morning air. The sticks and rocks that lay on the ground dug into your feet but you couldn't care less. You could see our destination and our gave it everything you had. The next few moments became a blur of bright lights and a loud blaring horn.

To say Gabriel had just about had a heart attack when you jumped in front of his car would be an understatement. His foot was still slammed on the breaks and it took his a moment to pull his hand off the horn, His chest burned where the seatbelt had dug into him. He sat for a minutes trying to process what the hell had just happened. You, who he left sleeping, were standing in front giving new meaning to the fraze deer caught in the headlights. Your eyes looked ready to pop out of your head. He couldn't believe what he was seeing, there was just no way that was you.

You on the other hand had were focused solely on bringing oxygen into your lungs. Your heart was pounding so loud you could hear it. The blood rushed back to your head so fast you needed to lean on the car for support.. You were so caught up on breathing you almost missed Gabriel getting out of the car. The slamming of the car door tipped you off.

A string of profanities left gabriels mouth as he question indeed what the hell you thought you were doing. You didn't answer him only holding up your hand indicating that you needed a minute to compose yourself.. Worry prickled in gabriel's gut afraid that you might have been hurt. He gave you a once over, finally taking notice of our state of dresses. You were only wear a button up shirt, his shirt.

You finally caught your breath enough to rasp out " I'm,... coming with,... you" before resting your head on the hood. The corners of your vision were starting to go dark and your legs were growing week. You decide to ditch the leaning thing all together and plopped down in the middle of the road.

Gabriel watched the transition for a moment, For the first time in his life he really had no idea what to say. You had ran out into the wood half naked and jumped in front of a moving car all just to catch him. You were insane, absolutely bonkers, a class A wackadoodle.

He gently walked over crouching down beside you with an amused smile on his face.

"Your crazy you know that right?" he said helping you back onto your feet.

You just looked up at him, stupid little smile on your face

"Yeah well, what's life without a little bit of crazy"


End file.
